It was so interesting to see the Princess of Wales visit The Royal Marsden Hospital yesterday and utterly joyous to hear she’s in remission. I felt oddly compelled to do the exact same thing after my own cancer treatment. It’s a well documented fact that the period after treatment is often the hardest mentally. It’s understandable. You’ve been unwillingly forced into this new world and to suddenly be set free from the endless treatments, blood tests and medical procedures is unnerving. For so long it had become the norm and the nurses became like extended family. Those angels whose job it is to save your life and keep you alive are literally ingrained into your soul. I couldn’t wait to get myself back in there to say thank you but it also made me feel safe again. I wonder if Kate felt the same?

I was very aware that I wouldn’t have a Kate-type effect on my old ward so on one occasion I decided to dress as a Christmas elf and delivered beauty products to patients undergoing chemo. They probably thought I looked a right plonker but I wanted it to be a message like Princess Kate’s that there is ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ for so many cancer diagnosis’.

It was also so reassuring to read that the Princess recognises the notion of having to adjust ‘to a new normal’. I’m glad she’s not trying to sugar coat it. The new normal is scary. It’s the fear of the unknown. Your body and mind has changed irreversibly post treatment and whilst you can get better you have fundamentally changed forever. Knowing that and accepting that is a hurdle. I also appreciate that she’s focused on her recovery because it’s so often thought that the ringing of the bell is the end of the nightmare. Yet for so many that part arguably marks the beginning of another. 10% of patients suffer with PTSD after treatment which is unsurprising but rarely acknowledged. There’s a notion that we have to put it behind us, move on and that we could get hit by a bus tomorrow (yes I had that said to me). The problem is the fear of that bus is very real when it’s already hit you once and your path for the next 20 years (for me anyway) is teetering on that bus lane. I don’t want to speculate on the Princess’ cancer but if she’s anything like the majority of us in the cancer community she’ll have half an eye looking over her shoulder too.

She’s right though to reassure. The new normal is completely possible to live with. It’s also not entirely out of the realm of possibility to love that new norm. I certainly do. Like Kate said yesterday it makes you enjoy the small things in life and that’s so true. I certainly don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. That’s what i’m reminded of when I see those old Helen reminder photos pop up on Facebook - she definitely used to people-please too much and overthink situations. Cancer crystallises that. It grounds you to the core. Before cancer I wouldn’t have dreamed of leaving the kids for 5 days to trek the Himalayas for charity, I wouldn’t have sung live on National TV for charity and I certainly wouldn’t have worn a full sequined leopard print suit in public. Yes it’s sleeping with one eye open when it comes to dealing with the fear of cancer recurrence but it’s also a gift of life and the actual living of it. For that i’m utterly grateful and I curtsy my sequined butt off to the Princess of Wales for being a beacon for so many. Her visit and her words yesterday will have made many on their journey feel reassuringly guided and as for those ahead of her on the road? Well I for one feel seen.

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